


Put Myself Back Together

by SockMunchies



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Feels, I Don't Even Know, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad Ending, Short & Sweet, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 19:45:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14064210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SockMunchies/pseuds/SockMunchies
Summary: Joshua, the new savior of this Commonwealth, goes back to Vault 111 after destroying the Institute.He sees what he left behind when he left for the Wasteland.Desperate for his old life, Joshua makes a decision to put himself back with his lost love.





	Put Myself Back Together

**Author's Note:**

> Hello this is sad and short!  
> I wanted to not keep you waiting on another story, as I know that my last one was "sub-par". Wasn't feeling well when I wrote it and so I didn't really put my full effort into it.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this one, anyways!

Joshua's footsteps echoed in the damp halls of the Vault. His holster made a jingling noise every time he swayed his hips ever so slightly. 

His arms, now growing goosebumps from the cold, swung by his side casually as he made his way down the long hallway. Seeing several dead Radroaches, Joshua decided to move further into the depths of the Vault. His mind was filled with thoughts of the Institute, and there was still a slight ringing in his ears from the explosion. 

The rifle he held on his back swung to and fro as Joshua walked, making a soft thump as it hit his back. The rythm was somewhat soothing, the jingle of the holster and the thump of the gun against the silence of the Vault made for a pattern.

Thump, jingle, thump, jingle, jingle.

For whatever reason, Hancock had decided not to accompany Joshua into the Vault. He thought this was for the best, as Joshua didn't know what would happen inside the damp and cold confines of the metal bunker.

Joshua made his way past the kitchen, then the generator room. The skeletons from before still positioned in the same way they died, slumped over chairs or on the cold floor. 

He finally made it to where he wanted to go. Water droplets pounded the metal floor of the Vault, and almost muffled the jingle and thump of Joshua's equipment. His boots made soft squeeking noises as he walked over the small puddles which littered the shining ground.

Joshua walked slowly forward and to the pod where he was first put in before....everything had happened. He looked at it intently, now pondering on his limited time in the Vault. 

His gaze drifted past the tubing on the walls, over the metal railing and past one more pod until he saw her.

A cold cadaver, sitting with a bullet still in her small breast. The blood had been frozen from the pod, and so forever dripped down her Vault Suit and onto her cold hands. Her hair now seemed white from the frost which layred ontop of it. Her face, now cold and lifeless, remained eternaly frozen in fear. The same look on her face as when her baby had been taken, and herself shot down. 

Joshua stayed, looking at his lover with a face of both sorrow and disbelief. How long had it been since she was killed? Days? Months? Years? Joshua didn't know anymore. The concept of time seemed a distant relic of the past now.

His subconsiously turned his body to face her, and his eyes sank deeper into his head. He took his left hand and pushed back the hood he wore, exposing his jet black hair with new streaks of red and white. With the same hand, he took off his lower face mask, making a gasping sound as the cold air reached his once warm lips. 

Dropping the accesories on the ground, he walked closer to her cadaver. His pale eyes looking at her, and his mind wandering on the subject of his life before the war.

When they came into the vault the first time, everything seemed safe. Nora held Shaun lovingly and comforted him when he cried. She had told Joshua everything would be okay, and he believed her.

Now, though...now that she was gone, there was no-one left to tell Joshua that everything would be okay. He promised her that he would find their son, and avenge her death. 

After he had killed Kellogg, Joshua still felt that gaping hole in his chest. Like a figurative bullet had struck him the moment the real one hit Nora.

He looked at her lovingly, her cold body starting to drip from the pod being open for several minutes now. 

What had he become? After he awoke from his cryosleep and moving out into the Wasteland, Joshua had become indignant to the world. All he wanted to do was find his son and avenge his wifes murder.

Sure, he traveled with people and cared about some people in the Commonwealth, but no-one could ever fill that hole that stuck in Joshua's chest. 

* _Suicide note part ahead. If you just want the feels, skip this and the next warning aswell._ *

He had decided now what he had to do. It was a rash decision on what he could do to join his lover now.

_He would write a note, leave it here, and end it all._

He would join his lover and his lost son in the afterlife. He would finally see them become the family they would have been if it were not for the bombs.

He took out his jurnal and began to write:

>   
>  To anyone who could possibly be reading this, you are most likley staring at my dead body. I have decided to end my life, and join my family so that we can be whole again. If I stay any longer in this Commonwealth, I'm afraid I might go insane with guilt and having to deal with the loss of two people I loved more than anything.
> 
> If you are reading this now, one of two things has happened:
> 
> I've made the correct decision, or I fucked it up and left the Commonwealth for good.
> 
> Whatever decision I made, I can't stay here.
> 
> The bonds I formed whilst exploring the Commonwealth I hold dear to my heart. The companions I have traveled with and the people I met will forever remain in my memories, and the people I killed will forever stain my hands with their blood. 
> 
> Nora, my sweetest wife, and Shaun, my dearest son, will greet me and we will be a family again, like I had always wanted us to be.
> 
> The hole in my heart cannot be filled by accomplishements, compliments, or achievements. Material objects, weapons, caps, what the fuck ever, don't matter to me anymore.
> 
> All I crave now is to be together again with the people I love the most out of anything I could ever possibly get in the Commonwealth.
> 
> I charish the memories created here, but It's time I left this damned plagued state and got back to what really matters.
> 
> -Joshua, Former savior of the Commonwealth
> 
> -Brotherhood sentinel, General of the Minutemen, and Protector of the people.  
> 

He placed the note gently on the ground where puddles did not form and stood back up.

* **Do not read past this warning if you can't read suicide** *

Joshua stood, feet firmly in his boots and on the ground, his gazed fixed on Nora.

He positioned himself in front of her corpse and took out his pistol. It was still hot from the battle at the Institute, but Joshua didn't seem to care or to notice.

Moving his hand slowly upward, he felt wetness fall down his face. His lips began to quiver and a lump in his throat caused Joshua to choke a little bit.

Dedicated to the cause now, Joshua continued to slowly force his arm upward so that the barrel of the pistol lay against his temple.

_Do it now, and be with your family!_

Joshua gave pressure to his trigger finger, slowly and cautiously. 

After what had seemed like eternity of waiting for himself, his vision went dark.

The loud bang of the pistol gave it away and echoed throughout the entire Vault and possibly leaked to the outside.

In what seemed like slow motion, Joshua fell to the ground with a loud thump, his now lifeless body topling to the metal ground and onto several puddles of water. 

His pistol fell out of his hand and onto the ground, making a loud noise of metal against metal.

#

He watched as Nora, along with his boy Shaun, walked out of the front door. He followed behind them and locked the front door to their house in Sanctuary.

The park wasn't that far from where they lived, so Nora had decided that they would walk instead of drive. Shaun giggled as a bird flew overhead.

Joshua felt a sudden pain in the side of his head and held it with his hand.

"Hon? Are you alright?" Nora asked, in an almost dreamlike singsong tone.

"Yea, sorry." Joshua said, smiling, "Just got this wierd pain in my head, i'll be fine." He reassured Nora with a nod and continued to walk.

Nora was wearing a blue sweater that covered the pale skin of her hands and wore a pair of blue jeans which complimented her body shape nicely. Joshua was wearing his usual white T-shirt and blue jeans, and refused to change.

Shaun was wrapped in a Jangles the Moon Monkey blanket and looked extremley comfortable.

He was happier now than he had ever been before, here with Nora and Shaun. Nothing would ever match the feeling he had walking to the park with the two people he loved most.

**Author's Note:**

> Goodbye that was sad and short!  
> I hope you liked it, and I hope it was better than my last one :P.
> 
> Kudos, comments, and other forms of feedback are appreciated.
> 
> We reached over 100 hits on my last story within a week, and I'm so happy about that! Thank you for reading my stories and it feels good to be part of a community where I can freely share my thoughts and stories :).


End file.
